John 8:21

Jesus reiterates, “I will not be here forever. The time will come when you will look for me and die in your sinful ways, not having found me. You will discover you cannot come where I am going.” John 8:21 EFP 

There are texts that are pretty straightforward. Then there are these texts that seem more cryptic than clear; at least portions of them seem that way. This is more like one of the latter, at least to me. That Jesus tells the people he will be going away is not surprising; neither is the fact they are slow or unwilling to grasp that concept. It is also relatively easy to understand, at least at a cursory level, what he means when he tells them they will look for him unsuccessfully in the near future—after all he is going away.

But why does he add “[you] will die in your sin”? (NKJV) Is Jesus intimating that it is possible to seek after him without ever finding him? Can I spend my lifetime looking for Jesus and come to the end without having found him? Is it possible that I could spend every day of my life seeking a Jesus that does not exist for me, an image of him I have created out of self-interest? This is a chilling thought. That cannot be what Jesus is saying! What keeps these people (and me) from being able to go where Jesus is going? What is He talking about? Heaven? The cross? Can it be Jesus is pointing out that I cannot look for Jesus while still hanging on to a life that does not give evidence of my search for him? I cannot cherish my godless and independent lifestyle to the point that my search for Jesus is nothing but a sham without genuine desire to enter into a personal relationship with the one I claim to seek. That is a much more sad, yet realistic, scenario indeed.